Trevor Noah pans ‘professional tickle monster’ Joe Biden’s 2020 campaign

Late-night hosts discussed the former vice-presidents presidential bid and Trumps angry response to it

Late-night hosts discussed Joe Biden’s presidential campaign and the coup attempt in Venezuela.

Trevor Noah

The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow)

Biden could take a page out of Trump’s book: instead of letting a verbal miscue trip him up, just create a new reality and plow right through! pic.twitter.com/B0nLXw1hpA

May 1, 2019

Trevor Noah focused entirely on “former vice-president and professional tickle monster” Joe Biden and his entry into the presidential race, particularly his Pittsburgh rally, on The Daily Show.

Flanked by union workers, Biden hoped to “unify” the country. When Biden began discussing unification, Noah pointed out the oddity it has become. “That’s where America had gotten to. Candidates have to promise that if they get the job, they’ll be the president of the whole country,” Noah said. “Thanks to Trump, that’s not a forgone conclusion any more.”

Mocking Trump with an impersonation of his own, Noah said: “He got into the White House and was like: ‘California, suck a fat dick! New York, same to you! All the people who voted for Hillary, suck my balls! Wisconsin, see you Friday! Florida, every Friday, baby, yeah!’” pairing it with obscene gestures with his hands.

However, Noah observed that Biden had trouble with his speech, often misspeaking and jumbling his words. Threading together all of the clips of when this occurred, the host commented: “It’s one thing to mess up in the middle of a sentence. It’s another thing to stumble when you’re trying to rally the tramps – I mean the troops!” He also mentioned that Trump has already attacked on Biden’s age, calling him “Sleepy Joe” in tweets, further emphasizing the point that Biden cannot afford to slip up.

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert spent time ridiculing Joe Biden. Biden seems to be running ahead of all his rivals in most polling, with his second-place competitor, Bernie Sanders, almost 20 points behind. Colbert joked: “Looks like the Democrats aren’t feeling the Bern so much as they are jonesing for Joe. Or vibing the Bide’. Or weeping for the former VP-ing.”

But Biden’s rise does not come without consequence: Trump unleashed a barrage of tweets against him, for which the late-night host again leaned into his Trump impersonation. Colbert said criticizing Biden may not be the smartest move, as it puts him and other attacked candidates ahead of the curve or, in the words of one article, “gives them oxygen”. Colbert continued: “At their ages, both Trump and Biden need all the oxygen they can get.”

Despite Biden’s savvy in the race right now, Colbert expressed surprise at one of his moves: the refusal to seek an endorsement from former president Barack Obama. However, Biden has a newly released ad featuring Obama heavily. “Joe Biden could not get any closer to Barack Obama if he was a pair of dad jeans,” said Colbert.

Seth Meyers

Running through international and more localized news, Seth Meyers’ monologue was filled with snappy one-liners regarding the wide range of featured current events. Beginning with the uprising in Venezuela, Meyers showed a tweet from the current vice-president, Mike Pence, in support of the uprising.

The host joked that while Pence tweeted this out, Trump most likely had to Google the location of the country. Meyers also poked fun at Democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer for saying they reached an agreement with Trump over infrastructure. “That’s right, they have an agreement with Trump, just like his contractors, the students at Trump University and his first two wives.”

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Mike Pence Tells West Point Graduates They Will Be In Combat: ‘It Will Happen’

Vice President Mike Pence warned West Point graduates on Saturday to expect combat at some point during their service in a “dangerous” world.

In a commencement speech, he said grads might have to fight against forces aligned with North Korea or China, or in Afghanistan or Iraq, as well as possibly face an unidentified foe in “this hemisphere.”

“It is a virtual certainty that you will fight on a battlefield for America at some point in your life. You will lead soldiers in combat. It will happen,” Pence said.

“Some of you will join the fight against radical Islamic terrorists in Afghanistan and Iraq. Some of you will join the fight on the Korean Peninsula and in the Indo-Pacific where North Korea continues to threaten the peace, and an increasingly militarized China challenges our presence in the region.”

He warned: “Some of you may even be called upon to serve in this hemisphere … When that day comes, I know you will move to the sound of the guns.” 

Pence’s words were particularly ominous amid rising tensions in U.S. relations with some other nations. President Donald Trump has vowed to back a coup in Venezuela. He has adopted a more bellicose tone toward Iran and announced the deployment of an additional 1,500 troops to the Mideast. Ignoring objections from some lawmakers, he’s also bypassing congressional review and allowing the sale of billions of dollars of arms to Saudi Arabia.

The U.S. military remains in Afghanistan in the longest war in U.S. history, and 4,400 troops are now stationed at the border with Mexico.

Trump has tried to broker a nuclear disarmament deal with North Korea ― bending over backward to praise that nation’s brutal dictator, Kim Jing Un ― but so far the president has little to show for his efforts.

Pence in his speech touted increases in defense spending under Trump and aid the U.S. “is once again embracing our role as the leader of the free world.”

He also called Trump the “best friend the men and women of our armed forces will ever have.” That praise came as the president has been slammed in recent days by former top military leaders for reportedly planning to pardon several service members accused of war crimes.

The 980 cadets who became second lieutenants upon their graduation included 223 women, of whom 34 are black ― both all-time highs for the once all-male academy. The number of black men and women in the class totaled 110 ― double the number from as recently as 2013, according to The Guardian.

Pence ― like Trump ― did not serve in the military. But in his speech the vice president paid tribute to his father, Edward J. Pence, who served in the Korean War.

Read more: www.huffpost.com

Sanders warns against outside intervention in Venezuela, stops short of calling Maduro a ‘dictator’

( CNN) Sen. Bernie Sanders on Monday night steered clear of calling Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro a “dictator, ” despite blaming Maduro’s government for failing to hold democratic elections.

RELATED: Bernie Sanders says climate change is an ‘existential crisis’

The answer came the same night news broke that journalist Jorge Ramos, an American citizen, and his crew had been detained by Maduro while interviewing the Venezuelan leader in Caracas. According to Univision, Ramos and the crew were “arbitrarily detained” at Maduro’s direction because the besieged leader “didn’t like the questions.” Ramos and his squad were released later Monday night.

'All roads lead to occupation': Here's what would happen if Trump followed through on threats to send troops to Venezuela – Business Insider

‘All roads lead to occupation’: Here’s what would happen if Trump followed through on threats to send troops to Venezuela  Business Insider

If the US military were to intervene in Venezuela, it would not only have to face Nicolás Maduro’s troops, but also paramilitary gangs and militias.

Read more: www.businessinsider.com